Saloni ZutshiAs the country gears up to celebrate our 75th Independence Day and the tricolour gets hoisted all around us as a mark of our freedom, I – as an educator, parent and citizen of this free nation – wish to share what I believe are important, relevant and urgent thoughts on this very freedom that we are celebrating, and celebrating rightly so. These thoughts – not new or sudden, but unarticulated until now – came to me with a force all their own as I recently witnessed an incident in my professional capacity. Clearly, it shook me out of my stupor.
When religion-based hate becomes a reality and begins to live among our children”children from ‘educated’ families, it is time that we as grown-ups around these children and as their guardians own up to our responsibility towards who we want our children to become. Education begins at home and it is our individual and collective responsibility as parents, grandparents, caregivers and teachers to become worthy of imitation with our speech, actions, thoughts and morality, so that no child becomes a hater and no child is forced to question the goodness of their being.
Below is an excerpt from a teacher’s letter to parents post an incident of hate in her class. It will hopefully help to wake us up to the questions that need to be asked – questions such as how free we really are and whether we want our children to carry the burden of hate or be free from it.
The letter
“Why do you wish to educate your child and what is the goal for you? Do you remember that children imitate our actions, words, thoughts and feelings? When we are with children, whether as teachers or parents, eighty per cent of the work has to be done with ourselves, and that takes care of the child too. Please keep this in mind as we move forward here.
“So, there’s an incident that happened in class during lunch and recess time today. Children had finished eating and there was still time left. Instead of going out to play, they chose to sit and draw or read. Recess is a time when the children are free to be by themselves, although the teacher is around in the vicinity. During this time, I overheard a conversation among five children – oblivious to my presence right outside the class – wherein four of them were discussing and saying, ‘you know, Pakistan is a bad place and all Muslims are bad people.’ To this the fifth child, towards whom this was directed, said, ‘but how can this be true? I’m also a Muslim and I’m not bad.’
“These children have been together from nursery till Class 5 and share a strong bond of love and affection. And yet, feelings of hate from the adult environment had slipped into the world of these innocent children to colour their conversations. Hopefully, these have not yet assimilated into their hearts.
“As a teacher, I am not interested in your personal religious and political beliefs. As adults in a free and independent democracy, your are entitled to your individual opinions and you are the best judge of the moral righteousness of the same. However, as parents of young children who have not yet developed the capacities for independent and logical thinking and reasoning, and are not yet equipped to understand such layered matters, I do expect you to keep them away from such conversations so that they are able to coexist with their peers irrespective of the differences, and do so in harmony and with love and tolerance. I am hurt and hugely disappointed that my students and I had to experience such an incident where one child was put in a spot and had to justify the fact that he is human, kind and an equal who deserves the same love and respect as his friends. A child who does not even understand what it means to be a Muslim. If that does not call for introspection, what will?
“So, I invite you all to look deeply into your hearts to know if this is who you want your child to become, and also imagine what your heart would say if it was you or your child at the receiving end.
“I will be addressing this with the children and I have full faith in the goodness, truth and beauty of their young beings. I have full faith that they will not internalise the hatred brought to them by the grown-ups around them for their friends from diverse backgrounds, and that they will continue to love and work with their differences in a tolerant and harmonious way. At the same time, let this be food for deep thought for each one of you, dear parents, to look closely at where and how this came to your child and what you wish to do about it. Your child is your first responsibility – they will be the citizens of the future world and steer its course.â€
It was interesting to look at the responses of the parents which ranged from an initial complete denial of the possibility of their child being a part of such a hateful conversation, to wanting to know how much did their child say vis-a-vis others”as if the quantity of words spoken will redeem them to a certain extent or help them assess and weigh the moral responsibility they carry for their children’s words. Those words did not come from the children in the first place, and in their hearts the grown-ups knew this. Late in the night, the teacher received messages where parents had figured where such notions of hate had come to the children from, some from their grandparents, some from the news on the TV, and some silences made it evident that it was from themselves. It is a positive sign that they have committed to work on this front.
We decided to make some pedagogical changes to sensitise young children to such realities in an age-appropriate way through their curriculum, and felt a tad relieved that we had been able to move something in four sets of parents. A small drop in the large ocean of efforts needed in this direction.
As adults around children of different ages, we as parents, teachers, caregivers, and educators need to consistently engage ourselves with the question of what the purpose of education is and should be. For education begins at home and happens while we are busy with the mundane rhythms of our everyday lives; certainly it is not limited to school hours alone, if at all. The younger the child, the more they are a reflection of the environment around them. Until they reach the stage where they can think independently, children imitate not just our gestures and speech but also our inner state of being. If we wish for our children to be a certain way, we need to become that person. For instance, children may listen to stories of kindness in school or even at home and may be told by parents and teachers how kindness is a virtue they must imbibe. Yet, if at home they experience the grandparents or parent being rude, disrespectful and unkind to a domestic help, this will reflect in the child’s behaviour sooner than later and it may leave us wondering where he or she picked it up from. Many of us go through the day unknowingly doing and saying things we may or may not intend or mean, and while we are blissfully unaware, our children are internalising such gestures. Therefore, as adults around the child, it becomes our utmost responsibility to create an environment that fosters the qualities and values we wish for our children to have.
As an educator, one recognises the ever-increasing need to reimagine education in the present context so that we can send our children forth in freedom to meet the future. An education that is hygienic and health-giving, that nourishes you as you continue to engage with and learn about the world, while developing a clear understanding of the self at the same time. One can only understand the ‘other’ when one knows the ‘self’, to a certain extent at least. We need an education that enables our children to embrace difference and prepares them to work with difference without feelings of antipathy.
An educator and parenting coach, Saloni Zutshi co-founded Ukti”The Delhi Waldorf School in the year 2013. She also curated Ukti Winter Fair, a platform for”and a celebration of”all things organic, natural, eco-friendly, and handmade. With an MPhil in Sociology, she had embarked on a career in the development sector and worked as research associate at UNDP-NACO, among other work assignments. Saloni works closely with schools on various pedagogy aspects, training and mentoring teachers, and is a passionate advocate of all things sustainable and environment-friendly.